why men must always find their purpose - part two
You may ask why someone would willingly stay in a negative identity that only keeps them trapped in an abyss kept company only by their familiar companions: sadness, anger, and bitterness. Well, if you’re asking that then you’re probably somebody who identifies with positive things and although you may sometimes fall into some negativity, it’s positivity that pulls you right out of it. Well, imagine not having that positivity to default to. Imagine being in that negative state and it’s the only life you know. This negative state may very well be a state of depression. I’m not here to diagnose people I’ve never met. However, I will say it’s a strong possibility that there is some depression going on. And without the right support in place to help them get over what it is that’s keeping them down - whether it’s guilt, grief, or shame they’re going to be stuck in that pit of negativity until they’re ready to make the climb.
It's certainly important to have a strong support system around you. Natural supports are great and usually know you better than most. They can include family, friends, and romantic partners. Professional supports can be useful as well since they have a more formal relationship and can provide specialized assistance. They can include individuals like doctors, therapists, and I would say even bartenders for a certain segment of the population. And while these natural supports and professional supports can certainly be there to help you find a purpose-driven identity, the strongest identities are the ones a man figures out on his own. And that's because any identity a man crafts on his own is the result of self-actualization culminating in the journey he took through hard times and good times.
Bad times teach a man all about grit and determination. Meanwhile, good times teach him the value of accomplishment and celebration. What a man does in between tends to determine whether he has more good times or bad. And it's a man's purpose that tends to drive his actions. Purpose can be derived from things such as work, interpersonal relationships, and interests. All of these things can be influential in a man's life and certainly a man can have multiple purposes in life. A man who identifies himself as a creative, hardworking, and reliable employee is likely someone who has gone through tough times at work and come out stronger for it and has tasted the rewards that his identity produced. His employer has probably reaped these benefits as well and ideally has rewarded him with higher status, pay, and general recognition. In contrast, a man that is defined by his stubbornness, ineptitude, and dodginess is less likely to receive kudos and promotions. He has probably not tasted many wins, and if such a man does not discover a purpose driven by things like competition, achievement, and ability then he'll quickly find himself driven by sadness, anger, and bitterness. Certainly not qualities of a successful man in his prime.
- Bryan Do